Allison Profeta
Things Nobody Told Me About Motherhood
Perle cotton thread on a cloth diaper
Not For Sale (NFS)
EMBROIDERED PROSE
“There are things nobody told me about motherhood. Like that I can’t escape from the trauma of my childhood into a trauma-free childhood of my own making. Nobody told me about the pieces of myself I’d lose. That I’d watch as they fell away and how I’d stand in silence, a smile plastered on my face, pretending I’m fine. Nobody told me how much I’d long to be seen. Not as a mother, but as a woman, with hopes and dreams that have nothing to do with motherhood. Nobody told me that it’s possible to live so fully through a life with my children while feeling as if somewhere else. Just out of reach, there’s a life that broke away from me. Nobody told me about the specific loneliness that comes from loving them with my entire being, even as a bitterness takes root within me because labor doesn’t end in the delivery room the way we’re always told. The way we pretend it does. Nobody told me I’d one day read about invisible labor and feel seen but when I talk about it it’s as if I disappear. And that being a single mother would end up easier somehow than feeling like a single mother with a partner. Nobody told me that there’s a person I’d lose to motherhood and how difficult it would be to finally find her.
- Allison Profeta”
ARTIST BIO
Allison Profeta (she/her) is primarily a writer, but also embroiders to deal with anxiety and writer's block. She likes to say things with embroidery that, traditionally, women “weren't allowed or expected to say.”
To see more of Allison’s work, check out her Instagram (@alliroad).